0:00 So, this girl that I dated, I I believe this is when I was 20. I think it's right before I was like old enough to go to clubs. I thought she was just like an average choo chow, which means like I thought she was just like a normal run-of-the-mill Chinese girl, >> like middle class. >> Sure. Yeah. Like kind of like me. She didn't she never said anything or or uh wore anything or had a really fancy bag that I could detect was like of a higher echelon than me. So, I thought we were kind of just both on the same level. And then, um, the first time I went to her house, so she lived off of, uh, I believe it was Holt Avenue, somewhere like off the the maybe like the 10 or something. Really, really far out. >> Is that like Temple City-ish or Arcadia? >> I don't even know. I don't remember what it was now, but it was like up a huge
0:50 hill. And um, she lived in this crazy ass mansion. >> Wow. And uh and she had told me like once I was there, she's like, "Oh, yeah. Uh I can't remember the the Major League Baseball player that they bought this house from, but it they bought it from like a a baseball player, >> Kobe Bryant." >> Yes, exactly. [laughter] Home run king. Kobe Bryant. Um and so we the first time I'm there, she had this is in uh uh let's see if I'm 20 that puts this around like 2003ish. Is that like hot or is that like uh intimidating? >> It's intimidating for >> the first time. >> Yeah, it's totally intimidating because I'm already like these are my loserist years. So, every one thing I see that's really high makes me feel even more like I'm going to lose this chick cuz I'm a ████ I'm a deadbeat. So, I go in
1:40 there. She has the actual DDR machine that's like made of metal. You know, the one that's like that you see at like Dave and Busters. Yeah. >> Yeah. And it has like the handrails. >> Yeah. with the handrails in her living room. She has that DDR machine and her personal car was a brand new Porsche Cayenne. >> Like her actual her car. This is like 20 plus years ago. >> Yeah. >> Yeah. I was tripping. >> Dang. As a kid, that's ████ >> DDR machine at that time. Crazy. Crazy flex. That's out of crib. >> Yeah. And and her like dad was I think her dad was some kind of a surgeon and her mom uh didn't work. had like all this like work done where she looked so young, you know? >> So young. >> Yeah. So young. >> Was the mom hot though? Was she like hotter? >> She was beautiful. She was like a really beautiful mom. Yeah, definitely. And it
2:31 was so like far out of my league in every way. And then she was like very pretty, too. That I was just like, it's only a matter of time, man, before I'm out of here. And it was true. Her dad like did not approve of me. Her mom didn't like me. So which kind of made me cooler >> in a weird way. Did you feel like kind of like Aladdin and Jasmine? Like, oh, like I'm a ████ street. >> I felt like Abu and Jasmine, [laughter] >> but my face looked like the guard that chases him. [laughter] >> Yeah, it was really like sad. And uh we ultimately broke up like maybe like less than a year later because of my own insecurity, I think. Like um she ended up having to go to fashion school in New York. She got into actually she got into ████ uh what's that Ivy League one in New York that the dude
3:21 from the office goes to >> with in New York? >> Yeah. He always talks about it in the office. The ████ guy he brags about all the time. >> Columbia. >> No, it's this one in New York that's like really it's an Ivy League school. She ended up going there. >> Cornell. >> Cornell. Yeahell. >> She ended up going to Cornell for fashion >> and she was like a like a really talented fashion designer with an awesome portfolio and stuff. But uh once we got to that point where we had a long-distance relationship, I felt so like even more insecure because she's gone and like I don't know what's happening. >> So then I I eventually was just like >> your mom hates me, your dad hates me. I don't know what's happening with us. I can't like continue this thing. And so like we broke up over that. >> Oh, you broke it up. >> Yeah, I broke it up. I broke it off >> cuz it also seems like if she goes to New York, it's like she's also like elevating places too. Probably. Dude, I
4:11 was going nowhere. Like I was going to community college and for the first time learning how to dance an 8 count of hip-hop. Like that's not impressive. But she just she liked me just cuz my I guess I was fun to her. But then I really it was my own insecurity that I was like I need to break it up before you leave me and I get shattered. You know that feeling of like I better cut it off cuz I don't I can't deal with it if you leave. Yeah. So I did that ████ Yeah. But she was just so insanely rich, dude, that it was like >> What was her reaction when you tried to break up with her? >> Oh, she was very sad. Yeah, she it was horrible. >> She's like, "You poor b████." That's what she said. >> No. So, it was It's a funny story because >> Is it cuz I don't have enough money? [laughter] >> You're not rich enough for me. >> Part that's kind of like serendipitous and kind of like hilarious is that like after we broke up, like right after um she I ended up like going on So You
5:02 Think You Can Dance? and she had she was still trying to like stay connected to me in some way. So, she started uh there's this guy named Johnny who like came into her life like a a dude trying to get with her and she made him record me on the TV [snorts and laughter] >> and this dude and this dude Johnny ended up dating her afterwards and he was like so ████ pissed that he had to record me cuz he like hated me. And then uh many years later, the um when we were like cool again, like I don't know if I forgot how we got cool again. We just basically hash it out. And I was like, "No hard feelings, okay? It was my own fault." Um she came to like the Quest Christmas party with Johnny and I was like, "Dude, this guy's ████ cool." And he's like, "I have to ████ record your ass every week." He's like, "I don't want to see your ████ face." He was like such a funny guy. And then I I
5:54 was like, "Dude, I love this guy. He's ████ great." And then uh years later after that, this dude Johnny ends up uh dating and marrying one of my closest high school friends. >> And now like Yeah. And Johnny was at he was AT MY WEDDING. >> WOW. Holy ████ Wait, [laughter] that just turned the script on me so fast. I know. Because we got so like cool because we ████ meshed it so well. Like he's such a funny guy and he's with like one of my closest friends. They got they ended up getting married. I was I went to his wedding. >> That's great. >> Yeah. And that's the dude that had to record me because like what the hell? So where's Chuchelle Girl? She's She's gone, dude. She's in a higher echelon of society. I don't even know. >> She started this company called Teeu. She's like she's doing pretty good. >> She started a little hole in the wall business called Sheen. But is she happy?
6:44 Yeah. She married some other dude, has kids, um is is even richer, I would assume, cuz she married a rich guy, too. Yeah. and she she does like fashion design and stuff like that. Yeah, >> this is like that moment where ████ I wish I could Doctor Strange my 14 million different scenarios to see which one, you know what I mean? There's some there's so many times now at this age, not because I'm so curious and don't like where I'm at, but like it those moments like, >> right, it's so trippy, >> you know, that that that one moment where like this went like this so your lives went like that, but like what if you just did it that small thing, you know? I thought too that like so Johnny I thought that cuz he ended up with someone so close to me. You would think he met her through the circle in some way. >> There was just chance. >> They met at a club randomly like an Asian club. >> Wow. >> Totally randomly cold walked up. Cold
7:36 talked to her. >> A union. >> A union. [laughter] >> Yeah. >> It was some it was similar to that. >> Wow. >> Yeah. And they just he cold walked up to her, started talking to her. Turns out he's like finds out that she's connected to me again and he's like, "Are you ████ kidding >> this guy again?" [laughter] >> Yeah. He's such a funny dude. Yeah. >> Probably what kicked him off a little bit too though, right? That like random connection. >> He's like, "This guy knows everybody." >> Yeah. He didn't even know until like they were already like like talking and stuff. So, >> yeah. So, we were at I was at his wedding. He was at my wedding. I ████ love that guy, dude. ████ sign. >> It's so funny that that's my ex's like first boyfriend after I broke up because I was too chicken to be with a rich girl. Yeah, >> cuz there's nothing wrong with her at all. >> One of my experiences with like So, you know, I went to Army and Navy Academy. I already know everybody there's rich like cuz the the tuition's expensive and but
8:27 you don't really know how rich people are cuz everyone's in a uniform and you kind of live the same lives and everyone's like in a dorm or whatever, but you just know they're rich. And I remember there's this guy named Jonathan. He was from Fullerton. I think he went to Troy. And um >> all these Johnny's. >> Yeah. He was he was like, "Hey, like on the weekend if we could all like leave the school, we should all come hang out." And I'm like, "Okay, cool." And I'm like maybe 16. So I don't know what to expect. I just know that they're rich. But in my mind, like the richest guy I knew was like in Cerritos, so it's still like maybe upper middle class, right? It's still like it's like not crazy rich. So he gave uh he gave his address and I remember my mom dropping me off and when when I get dropped off like you just see like this gate and then I was like oh okay. I'm like hey uh
9:18 uh I think I'm in front of your house. He goes, "Oh yeah, I'll open the gate." So the gate opens and then um I was like, "Okay, I'm just going to come in." He's like, "All right." And I start driving and the driveway probably took us like a good 20 30 seconds before you see the house. So, [snorts] we're just going I'm like, >> "What the hell? >> What the ████ is this guy Richie Rich? Like, what the ████ is this?" And you know when you have like one of those like houses where you could like like when like like when it looks like Jake Paul throws a party, there's like 20 cars and it still feels like the driveway's empty. >> It's like that. I pull up, I see all these cars. I don't even remember what those cars were. And I'm like, "Okay, mom. I'll just see you later." And I go in and I remember going into the house and then it was one of going to be one of those where all like the military I mean our military school dudes were going to have like a sleepover. We go in his house and this is the first time
10:08 I've ever experienced a house that had two staircases cuz you know when the house is so big >> Oh like like right when you walk in >> there was like one in the front that turns and then there's a one in the back because it's so big it's inconvenient go all the way. >> So you have to have one in the back. [laughter] >> Wow. So I remember like going like >> that's cool. >> Oh what the ████ >> And then and then we remember I remember going to his house I mean his room and in his room um there was enough space to like you could have a break dance battle. It's [laughter] ████ And then >> so you think you could dance right >> in his room it was that big. [laughter] And then this fool just had like every ████ dream toy you could think of. >> Oh my god. Bop it extreme. Like my my favorite um like toy I had as a kid was like this airsoft like Beretta but you
10:58 have to like ████ it once, right? And then you it shoots one. He was like and he would just have like a MP5 automatic like like every whatever toy you thought like everyone had like a Super Soaker 50. He would have the one with the backpack, >> right? He'd have the premium of every item >> and you would just see the collection of toys that you always wanted. >> Did he have like video game systems too? Yeah, like probably like three of them like Super Nintendo and like whatever like >> to even have more than one. >> He has a TV in his room. But the the part that blew my mind because I didn't even know this existed was that uh he had his own bathroom in his room. So every room was like a suite pretty much. >> So even so as a kid I was like, "Wait, we have like three bedrooms and we all got to share like that one bathroom." And I'm like, "This guy has a like he has more bathrooms than bedrooms cuz you know how like certain parts of the house you need to have like >> Oh, so in the house you grew up in when
11:48 your mom rented it out to different people, you were all sharing one bathroom." >> The one I grew up in, we had two bathrooms. So it's before four bedrooms and then one for these three to share >> and then one like not full bathroom but just like a shower. >> No one had their own. It was all shared. >> Yeah. But this guy had every room had a bathroom. When you come in, there's a bathroom for the guest. Then when you go to the kitchen, there's another guest bathroom cuz it's so big. There's multiple bathrooms. And then you you walk in and then uh Oh, and then there's a bridge inside the house. >> Cool. >> Cuz you're like upstairs. This is like >> Those are so sick. >> Yeah. There's the rooms, then it goes to the master, and then when you're on the bridge, you look over and then there's like this uh like big family room with like those giant grand pianos, but the
12:38 piano looks small. So like And then when you're And when you're 16, you got to play it cool, you know? So I'm like, "Oh, yeah. Yeah, [laughter] that's the Yeah. the master bedroom this way, right? Let me see the other parts of your house." You're just trying to not go like, "Oh my ████ god, it's the biggest ████ house I've ever seen." >> Yeah. You don't want to look like a freaking noob. >> Yeah. And then the craziest part was we had the sleepover, we wake up, we're eating breakfast, just ████ eating cereal, whatever. And then uh in the breakfast nook and then uh >> do they have like a chef, too? >> No, didn't. Or maybe they do. >> Morning, Master Bar. There's a guy that tucks poured cereal and milk. But the crazy part is we're eating in the breakfast nook and then I start seeing this guy hanging upside down coming down and I'm like, "What the f███?" I'm like, "Who the ████ is that guy?" He goes, "Oh, he's our window washer." He's hanging upside down >> because the the ceilings are so ████
13:28 tall that they need guys to go outside and like scrub the windows >> and blay downwards. >> Yeah. And I'm like, "Wait, you have a window washer?" Cuz I didn't even understand what the ████ that was. Like I know gardeners or whatever. >> Oh, it's our window washer. He's just you're just going to like scrub the outside. >> And I'm like, "Dude, this is ████ mind-blowing." >> As a 16-year-old, >> that's crazy. I've never thought about a freaking window washer hanging upside down the outside of a house. >> Yeah. He was coming down like Yeah. ████ blaying so he can like like [laughter] >> and I'm like dude this is ████ And the whole time I'm just trying to play it cool. >> Yeah. >> Because like you don't want to seem like a ████ whatever [laughter] or whatever. >> Yeah. Because you don't want to make them uncomfortable by like you being so
14:19 out fish out of water. >> Yeah. Yeah. >> That's the one of the hardest things to do is to act normal about rich ████ when you're not. That's one of the hardest things. >> When everyone's just normal about it. Yeah. >> And when you're not secure yet. >> Yeah. >> You know, when you're like still developing your identity and you're just >> cuz you're like vibrating. You're like shaking. >> You know what I mean? Like Yeah. There's like a weird like your sensory overload. >> Yeah. >> Cuz you're seeing new possibilities. >> Like this is a possibility. >> Even just being in a big room. >> Why are these ceilings so tall? The walls are very far apart from each other. >> Is that standard in homes like these? >> That's why I feel like I just do that now as an adult. Now I'm like coming into MY HOMIES. WOW. YEAH. NOW it's fun to just be like, "Holy s███." >> You know what you got to do though? You got to If you're a kid and you go to a rich kid's house for the first time, you got to just start being a real estate agent. You got to like pretend to be like, "What's the square footage on
15:09 this?" [laughter] Just start knocking on stuff. Oh yeah. This is like well made here. You're an inspector. Yeah. [laughter] Yeah. Yeah. >> Is this Toll Brothers? They have its own water line here. Oh, cool, cool, cool, cool, cool. [laughter]
// end of tape