0:00 So you guys know how I'm like I was really really good at math or no >> you were >> I was I'm I'm a retired >> I'm a retired math champion >> but I used to be crazy good at math >> like selfproclaimed >> and then at a lot of like um you know like a lot of Asians they grow up and they'll go to like a kuman or some sort of aftermath like I mean after school academy >> aftermath [laughter] >> Dr. Dre. >> Yeah. Yeah. You go to inner scope you know and you do math over there. [laughter] So um I was I was a really I was really good at math and in in seventh grade I >> I finished algebra eighth grade I finished geometry so I was super ahead. >> That's insane dude. >> I was super ahead when were you [laughter] in scope. >> Dude that's so advanced man. And then my freshman or no summer of 8th grade going into freshman year, um my mom was like,
0:53 "Hey, this the math place that or this after school academy you're going to, they need more math tutors, so they need you to come and and help." And then at this time as a eighth grader, I think I took a bunch of like practice SAT math already and I was already getting 800. >> Oh my god, dude. >> Getting perfect score all the time. So, so like to me it also made sense cuz they're like, "Oh yeah, there's like high schoolers are going to need help." And then he just doesn't have enough hands. So I'm like, "Okay, cool. I can help these high schoolers even though I'm only in eighth grade, >> dude." >> Yeah. >> So that's crazy. >> So I come in, I come in and and she's like, "But the thing is, uh, you have to wear dress shirt and slacks." And I was like, "What the ain't nobody dressed like that at the academy. What the?" And I was like, I he was like, "Well, it's because they're they're going to be older than you and you know, you have to hold yourself to a higher standard or whatever." I'm like, "All right, I guess >> there's a little kid in a suit here
1:44 trying to teach you math." >> So, I wore dress shirt and slacks every ████ day. Oh, by the way, this is the only academy in Cerritos my mom found, but she would call around >> and she found that the the main uh principal or instructor is willing to hit kids. >> So, this is this guy. >> Okay. >> So, >> she'd call around asking for that requirement. >> Yeah. She would call around, hey, um, yeah, like when you're when the kids act up, do you guys like physically discipline them? And, "Oh, no, it's America." So, okay, thank you. Click, click, click, click. [laughter] She found one that does. >> That's crazy. They were willing to admit they do. >> Probably said it in Chinese. That was crazy. >> Of course, certainly. >> So, it's probably like, >> "Of course we don't." >> So, this guy, man, what kind [laughter] of place you think I'm running here? >> Yeah. So the the math instructor, he's like a think of like a um >> like a tough like Asian
2:35 >> a former Asian military guy. >> So you [laughter] >> not but tough though. Tough. Not goofy, not funny or whatever. >> Okay. Okay. Okay. >> A tough guy. He's always like [clears throat] like that. And he always like comes in >> Master Tatsu >> with like a Yeah. with like a [laughter] wife beater in his slacks. And then when it's ready to teach math >> challenge, >> then he puts on his like short sleeve dress dress shirt with a ████ pocket protector. Like he's tough, right? >> So I would go this whole summer I would go in early. He would make me prep uh all the math that I was supposed to be teaching. And then during lunchtime I had to eat what he ate and then he would make me take a nap during the lunch break when all the students are a nap. >> Clothes on or close off? [laughter] Hold on. So, there's like this little like uh little section with chairs, a microwave,
3:26 and the water dispenser. Kind of like a little food snack bars section. He would make me lay on the floor, and I would have to like lay there for like 20 minutes. And you don't question him cuz he's going to ████ you up. >> So, I was just like, "Okay, this is a very weird job." >> And I did this for the whole summer. >> What the ████ >> Your job is to take a nap after lunch. >> Teach kids the ████ is this? >> I would teach kids sleep on the ████ ground. eat this weird ████ he would make every ████ day instead. So, it's in a business park, right? I could go to Next Door and go to ████ Tapioca Express and get regular food, but I they won't let me. >> You would have to eat the cooking of the boss. >> Of the boss. >> What would he make? I got to know. >> Oh, dude. Like ████ like Taiwanese military smush. >> Weird ████ >> Tofu again. >> Like a ████ pile of dough, like wet dough mixed with like vegetables that he
4:16 would just like bake or something. It was like weird weird ████ >> Oh my god. >> And then uh I would teach and then my mom would come pick me up. That was my whole summer. And then I was making 15 bucks an hour, which I thought was kind of cool. >> I was I was in eighth grade. >> Hell yeah. >> Fast forward to I don't know how many years later. Me and my mom would get into this fight and then I forgot what it was about, but I was like, "Yeah, I was already making my own money. I had my job." I was like, "I set that up for you." And I was like, "What? What the ████ you're talking about?" She's like, "You think anybody going to hire a eighth grader?" [laughter] I was like, >> I was like, "Not that you say it like that, >> Master Tatu loved me." Okay. >> I'm like, "He thought he had a chance with me." Okay. I was like, "Okay, of course no one would hire an eighth grader. [laughter] You're ████ 13 years old, right? Or 12 years old, whatever the f███." And then I was like, "Yeah, but I was getting paid." He goes, "I was paying him to pay you."
5:06 >> What? I was like, "What the f███?" So, the money was just getting cycled. And I was like, "What was the point of all of that?" And she was like, "I don't want you getting any more trouble, so I gave you a fake job." Oh my god, >> dude. The more I hear about your mom, >> he's a gangster. >> That ████ crushed my trust for her, though, cuz I was like, >> "Yeah, of course." >> Oh my god. >> She should have never told you. >> Cuz it's like show style, right? Where you're like, "Wait, how much of my life is real or fake then?" >> It's like It's like V for Vendetta. >> Am I going to a fake school? Are you even my mom? Like what the It's old boy. >> Yeah, it was crazy. Oh, dude. >> Spoiler, dude. They You weren't even getting paid at all then other than from your mom. Like $15 out of $15 was from your mom. >> No. No. That means that means that she was giving him $20 and then he [laughter] was passing on 15. >> Cuz this guy's like, I got to feed him
5:57 and make him sleep. >> You went through all that. >> So that's how I knew. That's when I was like, okay, now that makes sense. I have to follow this weird schedule of me like sleeping on the ground. >> Your mom made that schedule. Well, I think collaboration, you know, when you're like a when you're in an employee, right, and you think you have rights, I'm like, wouldn't I teach and then go grab my food like all the other teachers >> and come back? There's teachers outside smoking cigarettes. Like, why am I like >> You have to eat yeast and take a nap. >> Eat yeast. [laughter] And now I'm like I'm like I don't have >> yeast ball for lunch again, huh? >> I don't got none of these ████ teacher rights. What the ████ Well, you are like 13. >> Yeah, [laughter] true. True. But I'm also a bro. >> But if I'm a teacher, >> your mom is so creative, >> dog. Yeah, she's >> Who would think to bend it that far? >> Who does that? >> Your mom's a G. >> She's insane.
6:47 >> What other [clears throat] That's literally the only reason why you're even remotely successful is probably because of her. >> Honestly though, yes, cuz her thinking outside of the box is crazy. >> She's entrepreneur. She should start a business universe. >> Yeah. She thinks outside the box like crazy. >> Just to keep you out of trouble, she made you have a fake tutoring job. She had all these guys that would do errands for her. Bro, >> I [laughter] think they're all trying to >> That's the real story is like how many guys she just led on. >> Do you think that boss was trying to smash? >> Yeah, for sure. >> So, that one wasn't >> No. No. Bar, I want you to take a second and really think [laughter] about this. >> No, because this one, >> why else would he do that? This one I knew his actual romantic life and it's ████ crazy. >> Wait, wait, wait. What? >> He was trying to ████ you by the microwave. >> No. Okay, so Anthony, so this guy,
7:37 >> we're at the 7 minute mark. >> No, this guy, he originally ran academy out of his house, which is why it was okay to ████ >> hit kids and stuff. [laughter] >> The the old school house. >> Well, because you don't have I don't know. You're not scared of getting reported or whatever. >> No cameras. >> So, yeah, it's just personal. It's out of my house. Then I found out it's not even his house. It was his uh new like fleeing house. And uh I found out it was the fleeing the chick that he was dating because [laughter] this is gonna sound made up >> because this whole story is because one day I saw this guy come in with no arms. No dude [laughter] and I was like yo who the ████ is he has two elbow nubs. I'm like [laughter] who the ████ is this? So the the the fling's daughter, her name's Kathy. Kathy goes that's my dad. And I
8:30 was like, "Wait, I thought the teacher was your daddy." I was like, "No, the teacher is my mom's boyfriend." And I was like, "Wait, all living the same." >> No. So I was like, "So who the ████ is this guy with no arms?" And so what happened was the guy with no arms, his arms got blown off in the war. They had they had Kathy and her brother, but he was doing business in China and the guy with no arms cheated on her. So when they broke up, he just gave that family an insane like endowment. Like I ████ up. Here's like a gajillion dollars. So my teacher, my math teacher ended up getting cool with the chick. And since this chick kind of has like a trust fund, >> she's like, "Run your math school out of my house. That's completely cool." And because of that, I know that he and her are a thing cuz you would see them be romantic all the time, like making out
9:20 in the kitchen and stuff. So, I know he was not trying to smash my mom. Meanwhile, this math teacher, he was cheating on his wife uh with this chick because one day I came to the house and there was ████ scratches all over the front door like ████ Wolverine came and I found out it was because the math teacher's ex-wife came with cleavers and found out who he was cheating on her with and slashed up the ████ door. >> What the heck? >> Wait, the backstory is crazy. All of that is very, very exciting. But I do want to bring it back to the no arm guys for just a second because that one is fascinating. >> We got past that already. We figured out why he has no arm. >> Yeah. I want just just for my own dude. This fool can do everything though. Everything. [laughter] It's great, dude. This open deadlocks.
10:10 Uh doorork knobs. This doorork knobs. ████ uh Yeah. Door knob. Phone. You know, remember the old school phones? >> Yeah. The landlines. >> Cordless phone. This fool can dial like has zero handicaps. >> Uh I think he has a handicap. He can just do >> but he can do everything. >> Was he armless when he was cheating on the >> Yes. He was This was so much game he became a millionaire ████ cheating on her. No arms the whole ████ time. >> That's insane, bro. >> No ████ arms. >> We got to find these guys. We got to find >> Why isn't he teaching a course there? >> Honestly, I think we found the new JK. >> This can do everything. This new JK movie we're going to make. [laughter] >> This would hold the newspaper with his toes like this and then he would flip the pages. [laughter] >> I swear to ████ you. >> All right, Bart. Okay, this is what we
11:00 have to do. Bart is going to play the biopic of this guy and [laughter] he's going to be the guy with no arms. We're going to follow the story through the war to the millionaire and to this family do everything. This is why your normal ideas are so weird because your [laughter] >> because your real life had ████ up things in it. >> Honestly, the more you tell us about these stories, the deeper we go. I'm like, dude, this was not normal. >> This is a This is a slum dog millionaire. >> Yeah. Your default life is so crazy. That's why when you're being creative, it's too crazy. [laughter] Like, it's so out of this world >> cuz you're like, "What have I not seen?" >> You're so many levels. Like this would take someone forever to think of. >> Bro, a guy with no arms just dial in the phone, >> do everything. >> The rotary phone >> could do everything. >> Becoming [laughter] a millionaire,
11:50 cheated on his wife and >> and cheated on his wife and paid a massive alimony. >> Yeah. And that alimony became the ████ tutoring center. >> Still coming through. >> Yeah. Yeah. Still has a good >> Yeah. So why is he there? >> Still coming [laughter] through and reading a newspaper with his toes. >> His baby's mama lives there, so he's coming to see the kids. Oh, Kathy. >> And the the math teacher is cool with it because he knows he's just going to be here for like a month and then go back to China or Taiwan or wherever. >> Okay. One arrangement, bro. >> The craziest thing of all is that you're seeing this entire thing play out from the viewpoint of a fake job. [laughter] >> Like there's so many elements to the story that are crazy. >> Well, I started off as a student there. >> Oh, you were a student? >> I was a student at the >> He's an alumni, dude. >> I was a student at the house. [laughter] Then when the house got big enough, bro, >> you were you were studying at the house.
12:40 >> I was at the house. >> We got to find a name for this. And then when first gen, dude. First gen. >> Oh, wow. When >> the place got big enough where he needed a actual like commercial space, >> I became a teacher at the commercial space. [laughter] >> First gen, bro. You were his first black belt, dude. I was a founding member. >> You were the ground floor. >> Yeah. >> Oh my god. >> Do you think armless guy [laughter] wanted to smash your mom? >> No, they never met. They [clears throat] never I think the honest guy wants to smash parts mom and that's why this story is what it is. >> Was the place like a Chinese name? >> Uh, it was called Step Up Academy. >> Step up [laughter] Academy. Google it. >> Step up Academy. [laughter] See if it still exists. >> Bro, this whole story is a fever dream. [laughter] >> I feel like I'm ████ high right now. I don't know what the ████ is going on. >> Oh, you know that um >> Step Up Tutoring? >> Maybe. Maybe. You know that Filipino
13:31 spot that was on South Street? That bing. >> Yeah, DJ Binkan. >> Yeah, it was like diagonal to that spot. [laughter] >> Bro, what the ████ is the story, man? Somebody needs to make like a animation out of
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