0:00 Hey, when you were like a kid, did your parents let you bring like white kids over or anything like that? >> Yes. But they were kind of scary because you always know that in the white people culture they like to sue. So, uh I always thought it was more of like a kind of like a stereotype or whatever that you kind of danced around with. And um I didn't really have that many white friends growing up, but when I became older and this was maybe the second or third house I moved into after like uh leaving home, [snorts] it was in Alhamra and our house, my kitchen window faced the other house and you can see through their window. And I remember I show my mom the house, she comes inside, she looks at my window and their window and the other the other family's white. She was like, "Uhoh." And I was like, "Why?"
0:51 She's like, "They can see everything." Hello, lawyer. Yeah, my neighbor is breaking the law. And I was like, "What [laughter] the f███?" >> That was my mom's go-to impression of a white person. [laughter] >> So, she's standing at the window of my kitchen, >> right? Far off. >> Yeah. In my kitchen. She was pretty much saying like, usually she goes, "Oh, couch there. Not good." Because you know the energy come here. Oh, that mean your career over. Oh, you see the ceiling? That's not good. That mean your wife going to cheat on you 200 times? Like it's usually that. But when she got to my kitchen window, she saw my window and the other person is like, "Uhoh. Oh yeah, neighbor. Yeah, my Chinese neighbor. He's going to break the law. You better come over." So her goto is if you have a white neighbor, they're going to report you to dude. Law police far off >> or whatever. So she was like,
1:42 >> "Always keep cut in close." Okay. Kitchen window, keep cutting close. That was her like advice to me. >> She's doing like a little mini cool video for you to explain. [laughter] >> That is the true stereotype. >> But I also think it's comes from personal experience cuz like I was mentioning another video where she works at a big company like Mitsubishi or Toyota like that kind where it's a mixture of culture of the motherland but filled with American employees. >> Yeah. >> And just how things are solved in the white world. A lot of it is through paperwork. >> They tattle a whole ton >> like, "Okay, this is the first infraction, second infraction." You know, that >> that makes sense. So, imagine like your windows are wide open, your white neighbor looks inside, your dad's just beating the ████ out of you. You deserve it. >> But man, that looks crazy, >> right? Like, they're for sure going to call. They're for sure going to call.
2:33 Some kid is getting whooped by his dad. They're going to call if they can see him. That's why. Uh-oh. >> Close the window. >> Yeah. The funny thing is if you have Hispanic neighbors, they're going to mind their own business, but you have to deal with them making noise. [laughter] Like, you can't call on them either. >> And they are ████ they got routine with their noise. >> They're ████ loud, dude. >> They got raers. [laughter] >> Nighttime, morning time, like it's like partying all ████ day. >> There's always a birthday. There's always something to celebrate. Did you guys have non-Asian friends growing up and they come into your house and then they point pinpoint how Asian your house is? You know, like from like the wrapped saran wrap remote control or like like my mom's kitchen, you know, like Chinese food is hella like oil splattery, whatever. >> So her ████ is like foiled the ████ up.
3:26 >> And then so like my white friends would come over and they'll be like, "Yo, what's up with that?" >> And then you're in your mind it's hard to explain too cuz I don't even know how to cook yet. And I'm like, "Yeah, why does she make the kitchen look like >> like 10 man? You guys have to deal with that?" >> For sure. But also, it's like I don't know how to cook yet. So, like, whatever. Also, there wasn't a single house that I went to that didn't make me feel like we were the poorest people on Earth. So, I think it was like consistent. >> I didn't relate with a lot of people's stuff. Like unless you went to like it wasn't until I started going to like the Boy Scouts and like other ghetto ass Vietnamese people that I was like, "Oh, this is the ghetto side." >> That's true. I think I was more with you, too. >> And also, my one my one white friend, shout out Michael Quickco, lived in the neighborhood. >> Yeah. >> Um he was like a dirty white boy, you
4:16 know what I mean? >> Yeah. >> Like he he looked like just we just all belong in the same little [snorts] little dirty neighborhood. I never So we were the I only house on the street where the garage door wasn't electric. >> Oh. >> But then so it was like the the the cool side is that my house was the only house you can play handball on >> because you could slam a ball into the ████ garage door and you ████ >> It's ridiculous. >> So we would play handball. We play dodgeball against my garage door. That was my house. It was a wooden garage door. Wooden solid non non like piece. >> Yeah. Yeah. You got like the whole thing goes up. >> Yeah. So, that side was cool. Like if you want to play handball or dodgeball, go to Bart's house. But on the flip side, when it's like raining and you go to your like friend's house and everyone is like and you see
5:08 mine was get out and I go out [screaming] and it's like and then my mom parks her car. She runs inside and I have to go and then I pull it down. >> And she parked inside the garage every day. >> Every day. >> Oh, that sucks. She had to do that every day. >> Yeah. And our house our garage didn't have the entryway into the house like normal people. >> Oh. >> So So it was like we have to >> So you closed it from the outside? >> Close it from the outside and I run back into the house and I'm like what? We got such a ████ s█████ house on this street, man. >> And she's like henball. [laughter] >> Yeah. Oh man, >> you want to play handball? >> The only uh friend I think uh my sister had this white friend that got banned from our house because she said something so small. >> He said something small. >> Some girl um some white girl was um my
6:01 dad had just gotten that Lexus, that freaking LS, whatever. Um and like at the time like that that was like I think 93 that was like a $50,000 car. >> Hell yeah. >> And it was like major. >> And then um we had the gold trim and everything. And then this my sister's friend was over and uh saw my dad like pull in with it. And all she said was uh oh, he just got back from showing off your new car, huh? Like just regular. And then my dad and mom were like, she can never come over again over that. >> You're speaking out of line. >> And I didn't ████ get it for like years. I was like, she was just being nice. Like what the ████ But then like of course like learn later on you learn like you can't have that tone with ████ parents >> with elders. >> Yeah. You it's so familiar and you're like buddy buddy like you're not allowed
6:51 >> get that ████ out of here. >> Yeah. You can't do that. >> My first experience with that cuz like you know like Yeah. There's a even though you're speaking English when you're Asian I think you you you speak English but you operate within the Asian culture. And never once do I not address like my friend's parents by Mr. or Mrs. or auntie or uncle whatever. Right. And then I remember my first white friend coming to my my house and they're well intended. >> Yeah. >> But by them saying this phrase I was like what the ████ They said hey what's your mom's name? And I was like what [laughter] what the ████ But for her, he he's for him, he's probably like, "Oh, I just want to build a call the right name." So like if if her name's Lillian, like, "Hi, Lillian." You know, but for me, I'm like, "The
7:41 ████ that almost." >> It's almost like asking for her social security number, you know? >> First name is crazy. >> It's like calling your drill sergeant by his first name. >> Yeah. It's like, "What the f███?" I was like, "Dude, this guy operates on a different level." >> That's scary, dude. >> Yeah. >> Or white would be like, "Oh, you can call me Deborah." I would never never at best I'd be like, "Okay, Mrs. Deborah." [laughter] >> You know what I mean? >> That's the best you get. >> I can't even do that with my wife's white mom. >> I'm like, "Okay, trap. I see where this is going >> to slap me." >> My mom told you to do this, right? >> You know what's funny? There's also this thing with like when Asian I don't know if this is like across the board all Asians, but the way I learned it is that like when my family does something of affluence, like my dad getting a nice car, he doesn't want people to
8:31 acknowledge it that hard cuz it makes him look not modest, >> if that makes sense. You know what I mean? Like like it it makes him look like he's trying. >> So it's like more of like a thing of you're just supposed to go like nice like you're not >> Yeah. Yeah. Not too much. Not too much. >> Yeah. If you're like, "Oh, showing off your new car. Are you making too big of a deal?" And it makes it seem like, >> "Oh, why does that stand out with everything else I own?" Like, you know what I mean? Like, are you trying to say that that's out of place like in my household? >> Do you think Do you think it also gets deeper, though? Do you think there's like a like a [snorts] It's like, okay, well, if my daughter hangs out with somebody who like materializes things and sees like the the joy in these like, you know, you know what I mean? You think there's something deeper or is it just like, nah, I don't like that? >> I don't know. Because like in the house, we're making a big deal out of it. WE'RE ALL GOING, "OH S███." You know, like he's going, "Yo, like he's so hyped, but he doesn't want some other kid to like
9:22 acknowledge it that way." >> You know what I mean? Like maybe it's like the thing where it because it's embarrassing that you know, like when when compliments are embarrassing. >> It's that type of thing. >> That's the entire Mexican culture. >> What? >> Compliments are embarrassing. >> Oh, >> like you pull up in a nice car immediately. Must be nice. ████ DAD, LOOK AT THIS. WE GOT a raise, huh? You know, it's like you're like, "Bro, I didn't even like I'm just going to return it." [laughter] >> And that's correct. That's how you should feel. >> It's like anything nice. It's immediately magnifying glass. Zoom in. Zoom in. Zoom in. >> That's a proper way. >> ████ Now I feel like ████ about this thing. >> Cuz even though we had white friends that wouldn't take their shoes off, like that wasn't anything compared to when that happened. They were way more pissed. >> Like white friends opening the fridge, eating random ████ Like that's like to
10:12 be I guess >> that's crazy. >> That's crazy. >> It's crazy. But it's like within the field of understanding that this is not someone of the culture, so they let it slide. But this for some reason she was totally great and they didn't let this one thing slide. I never ████ saw her again. >> It's that disrespect, bro. It's It's the elder disrespect. >> My sister stopped being friends with her even at school. Oh, >> cuz it was just like too awkward. >> She's like, "This is not never going to work. >> You just like eliminated her. >> Never come over again." >> Yeah. It's like weird. I when my friends would come over, I would have to preface it like, "Hey, when you see my mom, you have to say like please and thank you." You have to shake her hand. Like you have to do everything. If we >> come over with the ghee, please. >> No, honestly, like might as well like I would have to preface everything. if we go to the dinner table, like use the service. Like don't you like I would have to explain all the because my mom would have all these random things that she would unreasonable things that she
11:02 would get so mad about where I wish that she could sometimes look and understand that these people are just kids. >> They're savages. >> Yeah. But they're like their parents didn't ████ raise them. Like I don't want them with you if you're going to be doing that. >> Or she just wants her house a certain way and she wants me to like make sure >> like they figure that out. It was to the point where I was like, I'm not going to have my friends over. Like, I was like, it's too much trouble. >> One of the worst ones I remember was um you know how like Asians, they'll play this ████ stupid dance like, "Hey, anybody want cookie?" And you're supposed to say, "No, yes, no. Come on, have some." Oh, no. No. Right. And then you have your like American friends. They're like, "Oh, sure. I would love one. Thank you." And my mom's like, [snorts] "Greedy. >> Get this rude ████ out of here." >> Greedy. What a greedy ████ [laughter] Oh, dude. This guy's so ████ rude.
11:52 >> Do you see that ████ You took the cookies when I offered [laughter] it to him. And I'm like, you brought out the cookies, though. You deny every offer one time. >> To this day, because I do that to Tiff's mom, she thinks I hate her food to this day. >> Doesn't cross-culturally work out. >> Doesn't work across the board, >> dude. Imagine we're just throwing tests. >> Yeah. Yeah. >> Who who 2026 we're just throwing tests out for kids that come over? [laughter] Oh, my mom, bro. She would be testing everybody. >> But I get it though. I get it. >> I get it. But I was like, "This is too much. >> It's too much. >> It's unreasonable. >> You don't know how to make a good choices yet, [laughter] you know?" So, we got to we got to throw some tests. >> And depending on the mood, she might say, "You know what? ████ that kid for no reason." And and that kid, my friend, I could never see that friend again. Like, that's how it was. >> You know what's a really unique one that I feel like I don't know if you guys had this. So, like because I grew up in a one-story house, I was excited anytime I went to a house that had stairs.
12:43 >> ████ yeah. >> Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. >> Here's the thing. You go to a another person's house that has stairs. Do you know you're not supposed to just go up the stairs? [laughter] >> Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Stop running down the ████ stairs, >> but you can't win. >> But you can't. But all you're thinking of is like, "Damn, those [snorts] stairs look so cool." But you But you know, like Asian wise, that's super rude to just go upstairs. [laughter] But I think like when we would all go to like a friend's house, the white kids would just immediately do it. >> And I was like looking at it like it was a horror film. I'm like, "Holy ████ that guy just bolted up the stairs." >> Yeah, cuz there's imaginary [laughter] there's imaginary velvet rope that says VIP section and they just went past it. >> The Asianness in you knows that that's like private quarters. >> Like you're like, "Dude, that's not meant for the kids to go." But the stairs, dude, I would get so freaking hype anytime I saw stairs. >> Somebody rules. Me, too.
13:34 >> Yeah. [laughter] Right. >> For for nothing. >> Like, you look like an insane person going up Asian home stairs. Yeah. >> I remember my mom would do karaoke nights at her friend's house and then we pulled up and if I saw it was a twotory house, I would be ████ psyched. >> Yeah. [laughter] >> Oh my god. >> Like, dude, they're so rich. >> Yeah. Yeah. >> I remember I remember pulling up to people's houses that have a pantry. >> A walk-in pantry. >> I was like, >> what Costco is this? This like it was Price Club back then. >> But uh but yo, that was that was such a sick thing. [snorts] >> And and when like uh this was the funniest thing. You would go over, you would like eat some snacks or foods or whatever, right? But you would eat it like you had never eaten these treats before cuz they're just I can't believe these treats are available at my white friend's house. And then they do the darlingest thing and they ask you like, "Dude, do do you not get to eat these at home?" >> Yeah. I'm like, "Shut the ████ up,
14:24 dude." >> And my mind is like, "No." Like, "No, you got extra. Can I put them in my pocket?" >> Yeah. [laughter] >> Our childhood was cool. We had a good childhood. I think we're fine. We turned out fine. turn it on. >> If we talk too bad about our childhood, we look like complainers. So, >> you know what's the ultimate bad thing? If you have a friend over your Asian house and that friend invites another friend [laughter] >> and you don't know their name, >> you don't even ████ know them, dude. >> That's not okay. Everybody's pissed.
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