0:00 Ryan, you dump smack. What is the hypothetical reason why? >> Oh, no. >> Yep. And this goes around the room. >> She's allergic to bunnies. >> That would be so sad. >> Took a long time to find out. >> So, like we get a full-on divorce and everything? >> Yeah, it's like what's the reason? Like >> Like a real reason. Like not ████ around. >> Your chick does where you're like, if we if we broke up, that would be that would be why. >> Oh. >> Uh, let's see. Maybe if like uh No. >> Maybe she's been Maybe she's being too sweet. >> She'd probably have to do something so outlandish and unpredictable like I don't know. Um She's hanging out with her ex or something. Woo. Maybe something like that. It's hard to imagine cuz you would never do that. >> Something that she does where you're like Okay, next next 3 hours of my life
0:52 are going to be like >> Oh, like annoying >> High wire act. Yeah. Yeah. >> I don't I don't have a for annoying stuff, there's that doesn't cap at like oh, we're going to get divorced if this gets here. What if she never knows what to eat? That's she's already is sort of >> Oh, never mind. >> But you you couldn't turn that into like if we if we got a divorce, that's why like this ████ can't make decisions, dude. >> No, it's never that severe cuz everything that she might do that's annoying, I also do it. So, it's like we we take turns being ████ obnoxious. But I can't think It would have to be something so unprecedented like like she >> Out of character. >> Yeah, like like I like I'm like, who are you? You know what I mean? Not really so much like oh, you did too much of a thing I know you do. It's more like I never thought you could do that, you know? She'd have to like make out with somebody. >> kids.
1:42 >> [laughter] >> Like your baby's born your baby's born, the baby's black. >> We did that video. >> It'll be my It could still be my kid. >> That's true. >> Sick, dude. >> Yeah, I know. No, I would I would It would definitely be or it would be something where if she like manipulated me into doing something crazy. >> Ooh. >> Like if it was one of those things where uh like she had faked a scenario so that I would believe something and make a very specific choice. I know that sounds so vague, but it could be anything like even something as small as like uh like if she wanted me to get rid of my one of my cars, right? And then so she like made up this fake thing where I I felt like I need to get rid of it. I would be like, "What are you ████ doing to me, lady?" >> Woah. >> I'd be like, "This is weird. Like why are you doing so much [clears throat] like >> ████ weird. >> playing mental games. That's scary to me because I think mental games are the scariest thing when you really fully trust someone cuz you're just they could
2:33 just crush you anytime. >> What other ████ thing you got up your sleeves? Yeah. You feel right? Cuz it's like if you're doing this already >> Yeah, I think anything that >> things that we have in the past >> Anything that challenges the fabric of reality that we have in the >> that you're married, now she's willing to like tell you something that like it doesn't change anything about your lifestyle. It's just like it's just like, "Hey, I just never told you this." >> Oh, I think there it would I'd be like, "Sure, like tell me what it is and then it's going to bug me. I might act s█████ for a while, but I don't think we'd get divorced." >> Her body count's 100 people. >> What the ████ >> Her body count just went up a lot. >> That's >> [laughter] >> No, that's different. That's That's ████ >> You know what? Smack forgot about multiplication cuz she's from Australia and she's like, "Oh, I forgot to tell you I tell you it's like a 100 It's like a >> The conversion. >> It doesn't change anything. She I thought we were thinking in
3:23 kilometers. >> Oh, that changes everything. >> She's like, "Wait, I took this many liters of dick." >> That's really tough. >> Yeah. >> But it was so long ago. You guys been together for like 10 >> same Smack you ever known. >> Bro, I we would be getting a divorce in 2052 if I found out about it then. >> Oh, ████ >> Yeah, 18. I like it cuz 18. >> [laughter] >> You have the countdown clock? >> Yeah, I it that would be a crazy one. What about you? Would you divorce me if she confessed that to you? >> In this Same thing. 100 people? >> 100 bodies. >> 100 bodies? >> Yeah. >> [laughter] >> That's ████ up because I would think of you first. >> She's like, "I just learned math." Okay, then let me make it even harder. Would you rather have her confess that she was with 100 bodies or that she was with five other Kinjas? >> Oh, how about just one other Kinja? >> That's too easy cuz he would just pick the favorite one. >> Mike Song. >> That's not That wouldn't work. That
4:13 would destroy his life. >> work at all? How is [laughter] there a favorite for that scenario? >> [cough] >> Jeez, Omicron strikes again. How is ████ Mike with their so quickly? First of all, my favorite's not Mike, it's >> It's Carl Adrang. >> Um Mike, stop saying first full names >> Oh, sorry, dude. He's a ████ famous guy. >> Damn, that's ████ up. People in your circle cuz that Now it ████ up five six >> Five Kinjas? >> It ████ up six friendships. It doesn't ████ up one friendship. >> Five Kinjas or 100 faceless people that you don't even know they >> ████ off, faceless people. >> Or Kinjas. So, you have to be more specific. >> Or Jabbawockeez. >> 100 Jabbawockeez and they're wearing masks so you don't know which one did it. [laughter] >> Oh, we're getting far. >> We're getting far, guys. >> No, the the real thing The thing that's going on in the community is like No. No, here's what sucks, Anthony.
5:03 >> Who would actually put the two words in the same sentence? >> Here's what sucks. >> I will slap you like Will Smith. >> No, what sucks >> over there and I'll slap you. >> [laughter] >> I'd have your back. >> All right, there's warnings going out. Warnings have gone out in the community is they're saying what what Jabbawockee didn't. >> Oh, come on. >> That's what they're saying. >> Come on, I didn't do it. >> [laughter] >> He's riding a good line there. He's riding a funny line, man. ████ funny. >> I didn't take it to that Omicron started it. >> No, what? I started it. >> All right, that being said, um ████ you, ████ you. >> So, you would go with 100 faceless? >> Uh we're moving on. We're moving on. We're going to go uh what's the other reason why Okay, I think uh this is going to get real and this is going to get dark. It's like I think the accidental or whatever death of our kid. >> Oh, Jesus God in heaven. >> you mean? >> You're going to leave her because instead of be like >> Cuz he looks at her and sees her face and stuff, right?
5:54 >> Yo, that's common, you know that? >> know. That's what I'm saying. It happens a lot more frequently than people understand. >> I know cuz I'm well-read. >> Are you thinking of who I'm thinking of? >> We have a mutual that you know this >> Oh, yes. >> Hey, okay, yeah. >> You two do? >> Yeah, we know this guy. He So, his they had two kids. >> And they and they and they died in my house. >> [snorts] >> They died in my house. >> Dude, I was trying to be ambiguous. But yeah. >> Well, I'm not going to give you more details. >> [laughter] >> Wait, what the ████ >> anything. I didn't do anything. I try I promise I didn't do anything, but >> All right. No, no, no, they yeah, it was like it's not at the time that was his old house. >> Now, you're making it more specific. I WAS TRYING TO MAKE it seem like it could have been I was there. I wasn't at home. >> You've lived in many houses, I will say. >> You're right. Sorry. I don't know what that was. >> You've lived in many houses. >> What the ████ is that?
6:44 >> a lot. >> I moved a lot. >> a lot. He moved a lot. Many houses. He did >> I have a couple houses. >> But then they didn't they stay together. Oh, wow. >> Yeah. It's sad, though. >> All that to say that, Jesus, thanks, Scott. >> They stay together. >> Wait, can can we get a little bit more detail just because I already got the emotional ████ So, the kids died? >> Yeah. >> Both of them? >> No, one. >> Was it like a pool thing or like something else? >> It was a household appliance thing. >> Lord. [snorts] >> Oh, no. >> But it was like definitely an accident, yeah. >> [snorts] >> But they But they made it through. >> I just heard that that's common. >> It is, yeah. That's why we're like, dude. Yeah. >> but it's also a success story that they made it through. >> Yeah, yeah. >> [laughter] >> ████ Because then you remind you're reminded of the accident. You're mind you're reminded of the pain in the in the turmoil and you're like, I don't want I don't want the
7:35 >> Is this the old house of yours that was that was at? >> Imagining a picture of them standing over small grave and then putting a success >> [laughter] >> It's so insane to me. >> Throughout >> Jesus Christ. >> This didn't break us down. >> Yeah. >> [laughter] >> So, wait, are there any other things that you would divorce her over? What if it was like um What if she like went on a date with someone secretly? >> I think cheating is the obvious. That's why I'm trying to like >> It's lowbrow. >> I'm trying to think of like >> obvious. >> I think I'll give a pass for cheating. I don't give a ████ >> Okay. >> He's not running for mayor. >> Yeah, he's not running. >> I think cheating's okay. I think um violence is okay. >> All right. What if she What if she lied about her job? >> Her job? >> Yeah. >> Like the whole time you thought she was doing a therapy thing and it was something else completely different.
8:25 >> it depends on what the different is. >> She's doing therapy but for old men. >> Jesus. >> What if she's like those mama therapists where the adult babies come and she rubs their balls and then they crap their pants? Yeah. >> For old men. >> Yeah, how about that? >> That's That's weirder than being a hooker. >> Would you be like, "Why don't you get paid more?" >> Yeah, [laughter] I'd be like that. I'd be like, "Why don't you get paid more?" Okay, we're running out of time. What about you? >> The ████ >> [laughter] >> Steve, what about you? >> So >> We got to go clockwise. >> So So >> jerking off a bunch of adults. Like that's where you guys are at. >> A [laughter] bunch of adults? >> That's it. He's like, "Yeah, she just got to rub a bunch of adult babies." >> What if What if she like What if What if Nikki did so horrible at gambling for like a long streak that it just like ████ up your finances?
9:15 >> First of all >> And then 100 Jabbawockeez. >> Nice. >> If I wouldn't mind cuz I love them. I love the Jabbas. >> All 100 of >> I'm big-time Jabba the Hutt guy. >> Well, like who hasn't twice? >> [laughter] >> That's sick. >> So, I If I called poker gambling >> Yeah. >> I'm already looking for a ████ new place, okay, boys? >> [laughter] >> So, that's my That's my quick answer. Um I I don't She She just went through a downswing this summer. It doesn't It doesn't bother me. It's It's only a couple years ago, she used to get really ████ in her feelings about that ████ And like used to mosh around the house and ████ like that. And a couple times she's mosh around the house and I'm like, "This is pretty ████ wild, actually." >> What if What if she was like, "Tyler Perry's so funny. I never used to see him this way." Like I And then she's like dying in tears. She's constantly
10:06 watching ████ Madea. Like Tyler Perry all day. >> Suitcase. I'm opening the suitcase and I'm just putting stuff in. >> Watches your videos and she goes, "That was all right, but when Tyler Perry does characters, >> First of all, Nikki's like my mom. She can't really watch my videos cuz they give her anxiety. So, yeah, I'm already there. But, um yeah, I know. >> A realistic gambling addiction problem. Would Would that be enough Would that be enough to break the marriage? >> into crap like craps and like like >> Like you guys are losing the house. >> Yeah, like bad things are happening. Yeah. >> losing the house. >> Like you guys are in debt. >> Cuz now we're talking about Filipino gambling culture. >> That's funny. I got to say, I think I'm just going to ride. >> Shut up. >> Oh, I think I would. I would. >> Become a homeless dude? >> I think I'll just ride, dude. >> That was my grandpa. >> As long as she's loyal to me,
10:56 if she's not loyal to our finances, that's one thing. But, if she's not loyal to me, >> That [snorts] hurts more. That's why I said Tyler Perry. >> All right. >> Tyler Perry. >> I don't really know the correlation to that, but I like it. >> [laughter] >> What if there's a limo driving by, window rolls down, it's Eminem, right? >> Here we go. >> Eminem's like, "Hey, for the boys." And Nikki's like, "That's it." >> I'm out. I'm like this guy. >> actually out? >> I'm like this guy. Yeah, I'm out. >> That's for Eminem. >> No, it's a bit. It's a bit. >> [laughter] >> She's not even That's it. >> No, I'm out. >> Yeah, I'm out. >> I would be I would be mega out, bro. >> [laughter] >> You would. You would be mega out. >> It would just It would just destroy the fabric of reality. It would like It'd be like seeing a wormhole open up. >> [laughter] >> I'd be offended if she didn't ████ Eminem.
11:46 Dang, dude. If Hannah loved Eminem the way that Nikki loves him >> Does Hannah have an Eminem? >> But if she did, she doesn't. ████ I don't know. Who's that one ginger boy? >> Ronald Weasley >> Ed Sheeran. Ed Sheeran. What Ed Sheeran? >> Ronald [laughter] Weasley >> Ronald Weasley >> Nailed it. >> If you did I and he pulls up I'm like, "Here's your chance. You wouldn't shut the ████ about Ed Sheeran for 20 years. Take it." >> That's so funny. >> leave you to Ron Weasley. >> I'm sorry. Continue. >> Professor Snape. No, like [laughter and gasps] I'd be like >> The one chose her, boys. >> She's not a go-getter, so I don't I don't date I don't date people that are go If you're not go-getter, you're not date >> I like that. >> But like uh >> You're a sales guy. >> Yeah, I leave her for not ████ her
12:36 dream. >> Uh okay. Would you um would you divorce her if she admitted to you that in the beginning for several years she just wanted the citizenship? >> [snorts] >> But it changed. That's okay. I just wanted the ████ And I grew to love her, too. >> Okay, great. >> Nice. All-timer. >> It's fair. It's fair. Guys want titties and girls want money. >> Does part of you >> And we both didn't have either cuz she was flat and I was broke. No, I had No. >> [laughter] >> But her titties grew. >> She was flat. >> Her titties grew and I Wait, I'm still kind of broke. >> She was flat. I was broke. >> Does part of you call ICE after that, though? >> I'll call her I'll call ICE on her. Yeah. >> Like >> You act like everything's cool, but then you call ICE and you just wait?
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