0:00 Okay, we're going to sit here and determine which type of cheating is the most forgivable. All right, I'm going to list a bunch of incidents and you tell me one of these three things. Either it's unforgivable, there's a way it could be forgivable, or it's not cheating at all. >> Okay. >> All right, we're going to start really obvious, okay? Having sex with someone else. Is there any world where that's like >> Are you dating? Are you or in a exclusive relationship? >> Exclu- Yeah, you're That's cheating. >> Well, then that that then it's cheating. >> Well, you said having sex with somebody else. >> There you go. >> If it was a prostitute, it's okay, right? >> Is that what you're going to say? >> Yeah. >> Prostitute's okay? >> There's some people that don't consider that cheating. >> What if you're like on international waters? >> Oh, yeah, maritime law? >> You know, so you're following international, you're like, your wife's
0:50 like, "Yo, did you ████ bang Barbara?" And you're like, "Well, how do you define bang? Because we were in the Bermuda Triangle. And I don't know if there are our laws there." >> You're probably right. >> Right? >> I feel like Bermuda Triangle's got to be okay. Like, if this dude I wasn't with you until you said Bermuda Triangle. >> If she goes missing afterwards, I think it's okay. >> Oh, yeah. >> it's then it's like, did she really even exist? >> Exactly. >> Like, your wife goes missing afterwards. >> Barbara, old news. Come on, let's focus on the present. Let's focus on the future. >> You can never pick a modern name for a woman. >> Like, are we trying to build a future together? Are we trying to dwell on the past? She's gone. >> That's really good. All right, how about >> I don't think I'm the best gaslighter here. >> What about kissing another guy?
1:40 >> What the ████ That's so much worse. >> No, not you kissing another guy. YOUR YOUR GIRL. >> ALDEN, THAT'S EVEN WORSE THAN CHEATING. THAT'S ████ dating. >> I'm like, why would I want to do that? >> That's so gay. Hell no. >> He said, "What? That's gay. >> It's more like the "That's gay, but you still like, all right, how how is that?" >> That is cheating. >> No, cuz I was still the same person that Bane Barbara and got rid of her. And I'm like, and now I'm I'mma throw that away to kiss a dude? What the ████ >> You're like, "I got away with the Barbara s███." "And you caught ME WITH TRAVIS? WHAT THE HELL?" >> YEAH. Is there like any way where your girl could have kissed another guy and it's like >> "Oh, I guess I can understand why." >> Professional acting. >> Oh, okay, professional acting. >> Great.
2:30 >> Cheek or lips? >> Uh, lips. >> Yeah. >> Like passionately. >> Like like >> Passionately. >> Tongue style. >> How long? Like a real kiss. Like uh, like making out. >> Professional acting is the only way. >> Yeah. >> What if What if they were playing like spin the bottle and it's like college? >> Your your wife's playing spin the bottle? >> Yeah. If No, no, but you're you're you're both in college. >> Oh, okay, is that okay? >> Okay, okay, you're in college. >> Is that is that all Is that like an all right thing? >> And you're all in a circle, let's say. >> And you and your girlfriend chose to play spin the bottle with other people? >> make any sense. All right, just your girlfriend's playing spin the bottle. >> And you're not there. >> Makes worse sense. You're not there. Yeah, you're not there. That makes more sense. >> think it makes more sense if you're there because then it's more equal cuz there's a chance for you and all the other girls and you're just you guys are just being crazy. >> And his bottle lands on Bart. >> Well, we got to do what the bottle said. It's the bottle.
3:20 >> You got to respect the bottle. >> So, that's an okay thing if it's if it's a game? >> I could give a pass if we're like, let's say we're at ████ >> No, let's say you went to Anthony's baby shower and they're playing spin the bottle. >> ████ no. I'mma I'mma ████ tie Geo and throw in the trunk. What the hell? >> You can't play this game. >> So extreme. >> No, but if we're like, um like if we're at like EDC or something >> Oh, okay. >> and we're both like ████ six E pills in >> and she just starts making out? >> And then she was like, "Oh, you know what? I I I thought it was you. I'd be like I I could kind of see and understand. >> I think only if you're also on six pills of E could you see and understand. But I think when you sober up the next day you're still going to be like, "What the f███?" >> What if you're at a swingers party? >> Then you're swingers. That's a total different thing. >> Cuz it's consensual?
4:10 >> Well, yeah. I hope you're at a swingers party consensually. >> Yeah, so that No, that is true though. That is one way that it wouldn't be cheating if you were swingers. >> Or if your lady is a CIA agent trying to get infiltrate North Korea trying to get information information and she had to >> suck a dick to ████ get information. Do you Is it cheating if you and Gio are at the Toyota dealership and she goes, "I think this guy will give us half off if I just make out with him." >> What kind of car is he getting? >> It's the 2027 uh Tacoma. >> Half off? That thing's worth it. >> Yeah. >> Dude, what the hell? You're like saving like 20 Gs, dude. >> That's crazy cuz objectively it's worth it. It's just like, "Damn it. Like why am I in this position?" >> I wish there was more POSITIONS LIKE THAT. >> GIO DOESN'T HAVE TO DO ANYTHING. Saving 20 Gs, you just got to make out.
5:01 >> You just got to kiss his dick. You got to kiss his dick once. >> Yeah, yeah. It's free real estate. >> the mechanic. You kiss the mechanic's dick once. >> rather Would you rather take it for the team and kiss his dick once or send Gio off to make out with him? >> Or like or like have sex. She just has to full out have sex. >> you change it? >> I'll tell you I like his one better. His one is better. >> I'll tell you how much That's a definite answer. >> He's going to kiss his dick. >> I'll tell you how much of a homie I am. If the ████ rep from Resorts World was like, "Yo, if you kiss my dick once, I'll give you and all your homies penthouse suite for a week." I would do it. >> Just like this. >> ALL YOUR HOMIES? >> ONE WEEK? >> YEAH, DUDE. >> So we ALL GET A WE ALL GET A RESORTS WORLD PENTHOUSE? >> I'M DOWN. >> I'M TELLING YOU. I would. >> And all of us are like, "THANK YOU, BOB,
5:51 FOR KISSING HIS DICK." >> IT'S JUST A KISS. I'M I'M SUCH A HOMIE. I I WOULDN'T EVEN I wouldn't even talk about it. I would just experience it. >> Wait, this is something you would do at this age? >> Right now, this ████ came in through the door and was like, "Yo." >> Just to stay at Resorts WORLD? >> THE OLDER I AM, THE MORE WILLING I'm doing it. >> Just to stay at Resorts World? In the city you live in? >> Dude, you know how much expensive the penthouse is? ████ expensive. >> How much? >> I don't know. >> It's like got to be like thousands of dollars a night. >> Yeah, a thousand dollars a night. >> So, if every single >> Dude. >> He's not sucking it, you know, like kissing is just >> It's this. >> It's just the affection. It's love. >> What if you only got like three homies that are available, then? That's like $3,000. >> You kiss a dick for like three grand? >> They're other homies' scheduling problem. Everybody else here can get it. >> Yeah, but that's what I'm saying, like like that's like maybe a
6:41 >> give us vouchers. So, we could do it whenever we want. >> When we're available. >> Okay. >> Let me know if this is it what you think of this is this is cheating. How about if she just met up with someone for a secret date that she didn't tell you about? They didn't kiss, they didn't have sex. >> That's cheating. I'd rather have her ████ somebody. >> Jesus, I I wouldn't go there, but >> You got she got caught, basically. >> What do you mean by like a date? Like they're trying to like talk about feelings and ████ >> Are they like ████ drawing blueprints for a a ADU they're trying to build? >> It's clearly someone that she's It's clearly someone she felt she shouldn't tell you about. >> There's emotions involved. >> Whatever the reason is. >> That's the worst. >> That's that's haram. >> That's haram. It's haram, very haram. No. >> Bring back the burqa. That's >> That's the worst, man. >> I'd rather have her suck dick for no feelings. >> Me, too.
7:31 >> How about How about this? >> I'd rather have her make out and give me half of a a Tacoma. >> That's not cheating. >> Yeah. >> Cuz it half of a Tacoma? >> The cheating? >> I think the basic rule is that she wanted them. Yeah. >> How about this? Okay, this isn't she's not on a date. She's just reminiscing with an ex about past intimate moments. Cheating? >> While she's having sex with me, she's thinking these things. >> She's thinking about them? >> No, no, no, like she's talking to her ex on the phone and they're just chatting. >> Talk about the good old times? >> But they start reminiscing about sexual moments of their past. >> It was haram when she was talking to the ex. >> Oh, okay, even further back. Okay. >> Sexual, no. But if they said something like, "Remember when you farted in the movie theater?" And I you know, they're talking about a funny time.
8:21 All right, whatever. That's funny. >> I think her talking to the ex is cheating already. >> Yeah. >> Why you guys even talking like that? >> All right, how about she got caught with a Tinder profile? >> Woah. >> What's that for? Research? >> Or if she's just like, "I just want to see what it was like." I don't know. >> A lot of these are okay if she's a CIA agent. >> She's not in this case. Is it still bad? She never did anything, she never chatted, didn't even uh match with anyone. >> What if she's just like What if she goes, "I just want to see if I still got it." >> Yeah, that's >> Cuz sometimes you just want to go to the club and get hit on, you know? But I can't I can't leave the house. So I get the same feeling on Tinder. >> Is it understandable at least? >> Yeah, what if she's just trying to set you up for a surprise threesome? >> Oh, wow. That'll be so cool, but No, it's just attention. It's just attention. >> With another guy? >> No, no, no, no, Tinder both ways. Tinder you can pick girls. >> Oh, that's true. That's true. Bart's
9:12 sitting there, he's like, "Yeah, yeah, it's not cheating." I don't want another guy. >> Nah. >> All right. What Okay, now we're going to get into the realm of like that you may sound a little too strict if you say this is cheating. All right, let's say um she started seeing a male gynecologist. >> She had one. >> Yeah, but what if she's getting weekly Pap smears? >> All the time? >> She's going like every week. >> That's You got a stinky ████ or something. Why are going so much? >> If you get more than the ████ recommended USDA amount or whatever the ████ federal That is no bueno, dude. >> I'd be more concerned for her health. Be like, all right, what's going on here? I'd be like, "Honey, is your is your is your ████ destroyed or what?" >> Okay, how about if she hired a sexy straight male personal trainer? >> I just immediately think he's gay. >> But here's the here's the catch. They've
10:02 been working out together for 3 years. You didn't even know. You assumed it was a woman trainer because that's what she said. So she had lied about it. >> Well, why would she lie to me? >> Well, why? Because she's cheating. >> That's cheating then. >> Or because she's trying to cheat. That's the thing. The question is, do you consider it cheating if that's as much as you know? >> Attempted cheating is cheating. >> Oh. >> Because what if she's like, "I didn't cheat. I just that's my trainer." >> I probably I probably would have to kidnap the guy and then cut off one of his nipples and then tell her and tell him, "I'm Geo's husband. Um but it's okay. You can You can con- After after cutting it off? >> But you can continue training her and then see if he continues. >> Yeah. >> Because if he really continues, they have nothing going on. But if he's like, "Oh, you know what?
10:52 I'm not going to do it anymore." And I'm like, "Oh, hey babe, what happened? You don't like that personal trainer?" "Oh, yeah, he he he canceled for some reason. He's like fully booked." Then I know what was happening. And it's just a nipple. You could You have another one. >> All right, what if she starts going to every Jason Cheny comedy show and just laughing really hard at every joke. >> Something's definitely wrong. >> Like what if she just laugh yucking it up extra loud? >> He's not that funny. And if you already seen his set, you know what the ████ he's about to do the next one. >> What do you mean? >> He's going to tell the same jokes. >> Jesus. >> What if he got such a beefy set? >> He will never He will not sleep tonight after hearing you say that. >> He's like, "I'm writing another hour." >> He The Taiwanese girls love him though. Like in Taiwan, this is what I hear.
11:43 They like they go He's like almost like a Matt Rife over there. >> Oh. >> Almost. But like, you know, just like not like scale-wise, but like the attraction. >> Yeah. Oh, that's awesome. >> Wait, he does a Mandarin set? >> He does Yeah, he does Mandarin. He does Well, he does it in English over there, too. >> All right. What if you guys are watching Love Island, right? And then you discover that your partner started following all the male bombshells on the show. >> On IG? >> I divorce her for ████. That's not even cheating. That's That's even worse. That's even worse. >> I judge her taste. >> Yeah, that's even worse. Divorce her and give her the nipple. Give her the nipple. >> That's not even cheating anymore. That's like your your substandard. I don't know what's going on. >> Is that cheating for you? >> I need to see which bombshells she followed. All the male bombshells. >> Every single one? >> Yes, yes. >> There's like a hundred.
12:34 >> Yeah. I know Love Island now. >> Yeah. >> That's >> All of them? >> That That is grounds for ████. >> Damn. >> All of them? There's like seven a new episode. >> Who follows a hundred people in the same day? That's That's That's too thirsty, okay? I agree. >> Make a separate account for it. >> Divorce for ████. >> I'm like, there's ████ eggs to be made and you're just following buff guys. >> Okay, here's Let's Let's make it more complicated, okay? Let's say that your partner has a guy friend of many, many years. They're very close, right? They um and you you're very comfortable with them chilling. You don't even care. It's not even something you even think about. Years later, I mean, it's revealed that oh, actually she had sex with him many times in the past. >> Holy ████ >> But she never disclosed that for years. >> But they don't ████ no more? >> No, they don't. But she purposely didn't mention it so
13:25 that you wouldn't be like, "I don't want you hanging out. >> I can see why she would have mentioned it. But I'm like, why you playing with fire? >> Is it Is it considered cheating? What is it? >> Well, you're talking about when you guys weren't together. >> Yes. But the the That's where it's like kind of like a iffiness, yeah. >> The gray area because she kind of did lie. >> Once you ████ it's easier to ████ again. >> And and you trusted that she wasn't doing nothing with him because you thought they were friends and no history. >> I think if you didn't ask, you know, then it's like a grayer area. >> I'm questioning why you even got guy friends. >> Well, it's an old friend from before you. >> Why does she have friends at all? >> I'm your friend. >> I would rather for the sake of it, I would rather she just be like oh like we dated. That's fine. I don't need to explicitly know you ████ I'm just going to assume
14:16 that you guys did, but never need to hear the words. I never need the ████ physical words coming out of your mouth. >> I'd rather hear dated than being being your ████ hookup ████ bag. >> Hi honey, I was just a hookup ████ bag with him. Nothing serious. >> You know what I mean? Just like say you guys dated. Like if you guys are hanging out you guys are hanging out, whatever. I don't give a ████ right? Like it's it's more like for me I have an imagination. And then once like certain vocabulary or intention is brought into the conversation, then I then my my mind just goes. I don't want to do that. I don't want to just imagine ████ You know, just hanging out just ████ I don't care if you guys dated. >> Okay. All right. >> But like but to Joe's point, why you playing with fire? Like is he single? Like what what is that? If he's got a wife, he's got kids and you guys just have like a connection or whatever you guys have in common, I don't give two ████ You know? It's like it cuz you're just shoot like if that's important to you, whatever. Like you know, you I don't
15:07 think everything's black and white. I think that like we all have like there's complex relationships that like people have had. There's family relationships. Right now Nina's ex-boyfriend it lives next door to her parents because like that's how they got close because their parents like grew up with like the Tito or whatever. And now he moved back in with his kids. You know, so it's like it's funny to me. I'm like, "Ah, it's your ex-boyfriend." >> That's That's strategic. No, that's strategic. >> That's long game, dude. >> Yeah, it's strategic. Long game, long game. >> All right, would you would you consider cheating if you and Hannah were sitting face-to-face at a restaurant, right? Some guy behind sneezes and she says, "Bless you." >> No, I'd go over there ████ put a fork in the guy's face for sneezing and forcing my wife to say, "Bless you." >> All right. Yeah, I figured that'd be fair. Oh, this is Okay, this is the last one. This is the last one. This is for uh Peter. Um let's say
15:59 let's say you and your and your wife have a like a family-owned like matcha shop and uh you discover that she had a part-time job at Boba Time. >> 100%. >> Yeah. >> 100%. Yeah, yeah. Cheating on the family. The family business. >> But like it makes sense cuz you're kind of like you're kind of stepping up, you know? Kind of going to Boba Time. >> At at a chain? At a chain? That's the worst. >> That's the worst part. >> That's the worst. That's a chain. >> It's a chain. You don't even have taste. >> Yummy is art. >> That's disgusting. >> No. Come on.
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