0:00 You know in high school when you're like a little ████ and you just like mess around too much and you cause damage to other people's stuff? >> I don't know anything about that. >> the only one that's that crazy? >> I don't know anything about that. I was innocent. >> Okay. Well, uh in the SGV, in the I would say the late '90s, uh me and my high school friends when we used to be in you know like when you when you guys go somewhere and there's like three different cars and you're all like spread out amongst those cars and you're going around town and stuff. Do you ever just throw stuff at each other on the road? >> Yeah, dude, like coins? >> Nuts? >> At each other? But at strangers. >> What the heck? >> Really strangers? Yeah, if they like ████ with you, like they cut you off. >> No, well, yeah, but Oh, yeah, well, that's different. No, road rage is different. He's talking about this is a fun activity. Like just as a fun thing. >> No, we only did it cuz we're pissed.
0:50 >> Oh, okay. Well, we used to always do that where the I guess it kind of escalated. In the beginning, it's like you get out and you and you flip someone's uh wipers upside down, you know, you open their their back doors. You open their trunk. Just dumb ████ like that, right? Um and then it escalated to the point we would like throw objects at each other. Um and this one day we were going down Do you remember the area of Rosemead Boulevard where it becomes Lakewood? >> Yeah, the 19. >> Yeah. So, like as you're going down that way >> That's Pico Rivera, whatever, right? >> Yes, yeah, Pico Rivera. Cuz a bunch of us um were from the 562 but going to school in San Gabriel. So, we would always like carpool back to the 562 area cuz people got to go home to Norwalk, Downey, whatever. >> That was like the worst traffic area, huh? >> Yeah, it was pretty bad. So, in this area, we uh we were throwing stuff and I
1:41 [snorts] was running out of things to throw at my buddy behind us. So, I was going through the glove compartment of my friend's Crown Victoria and I'm like, "There's nothing in here. Okay, I'll just throw this whole thing." It was you know like back then you had uh what's called a Thomas Guide was like the map that you would keep in your car. >> The biggest map of all time. It's like a ████ heavy textbook with spiral bound. >> Textbook, it's a big spiral bound notebook that has maps of all the areas because you know for us old folks, we didn't really have a way to get around that was digital. >> Before you would print them on like MapQuest and stuff. >> Pre-printing on MapQuest even, yeah. >> Pre-MapQuest, yeah. >> So it's like mega print like mega pre uh digital map. So I decided to launch it out the back. I didn't even look. They're just behind me and I threw it backwards like this the whole map and the book like went like this over the
2:31 windshield of my friend's car. >> Oh, ████ >> Perfect prank, dude. >> And then it made him like swerve and he hit this other car that hit another car that hit another car. >> [laughter] >> Yeah. >> Yeah. And you heard it too? You're like, "Oh my god." >> like four cars of us. So we all like saw it. >> Did you take off? >> No, we didn't take off. We all stopped. And then um it was like a weird one of those scenes where like we were just like, "Oh, please don't get out of the car and like hold your neck or something." You know, cuz that's when you know it's going to be extra bad. And of sure enough like the first Mexican lady got out going, "Oh." >> [laughter] >> And we're like, "Damn it." And then the next guy The next guy gets out and goes, "Oh." >> [laughter] >> So we were just like, "Oh, we're ████ We're ████ dude."
3:21 And then my friends at the time he did no one none of us had a lot of money. My friend who crashed was driving like an '88 Sentra. So it was very like he got this car for like 200 bucks. So it's like really not the guys to be running into stuff. Um And so we all waited the curb for the ambulance to get there. Took we took like disposable camera photos of of the damage and stuff. >> What an era. >> I know, it was such an era. You got to get them developed. >> I'm going to mail these to my insurance company. >> But then you got to get hell of photos because sometimes you develop them and they're just ████ up for no reason. Your thumb's on the side. But then like we managed to I guess like avoid the Thomas guide detail of the story so that way the insurance could cover it.
4:11 >> Oh, thank god. >> So I think I think it just went down as like oh everybody stopped before I could react and it was just a classic rear end. Yeah. But then after that day we had stopped >> ████ around. >> ████ around in that way. >> Bro, the feeling in your stomach when you heard the car crashes I'm sure it was insane. The level of guilt >> If I'm in that other car and you we're friends but you throw a Thomas guide that puts me in a four car pile up I feel like that's grounds for like it doesn't have to have rhyme or reason but I feel like we might not be friends anymore. >> There's no way. It makes you closer bro. You got to try it. You got to try it dude. Adversity bonds you together. >> That is true. That is true. >> It's cuz we're all like such boneheads that it's like it's like being in Jackass, you know, like that's the way that our friend group was. But like when
5:01 ████ like that goes down and and it goes too far, yeah, they're going to everyone's going to yell at me but we're still going to go to Denny's. >> [laughter] >> You know what I mean? It's like >> mozzarella sticks. >> Yeah, and it's one of those things where like that wasn't even the worst thing that we did so it was like that's okay. I thought I stopped doing that ████ and then my friend uh L10 who's like you know >> [laughter] >> He was like he was asking me if I remember doing this thing and this is like 10 years later. He goes, "Hey, you remember when you would always throw these like I guess like he said he goes, "You probably remember this but one day I told you I liked those Valentine's candies that have like be mine written on it, you know, little hearts." And he goes, "And then as a response to that you decided to buy a bag of those, wet them, and throw them all over my car?
5:51 And I was like, "I did?" >> [laughter] >> Oh, dude. >> goes, "Yeah, you did." And this is like in This is like 10 years after that. >> Wet them? >> Yeah. >> Bro, those candies were all ████ up. >> goes he goes, "Yeah, you and uh this other guy, Mike De Chirico." He's like, "You guys uh were laughing so hard. Like that was so funny." And I was [laughter] like, "That is funny." I didn't even remember I did that. That's ████ great. >> So scared. I hope I never meet anybody that I knew before and then they have like crazy memories of me. >> Dude, that's how that felt cuz I was like, "I don't even remember that." >> I bet I ████ crazy, too. >> Bro, you probably did some ████ >> [laughter] >> You definitely did some ████ >> like the Jackass 90s, man. Every Like so many people were like that. >> It was in, dude. It was a different time. >> one of the ones that made me feel so ████ bad was I stole from my friend
6:43 and then I gaslit him that those were his. >> That's crazy. >> What did you steal? >> [laughter] >> I think I think that's just wrong. >> It's not even in the same world. >> It's not funny. I got to apologize. Alex Verrada, if you're out there. Um >> Oh, he was a B-boy, actually. I'm on his side now. >> it worse is his parents are divorced, too. So, he lived He lived on my street and every other week he would be there because the other week he'd be at the like mom's side or whatever. And I remember there was this phase that I really wanted Oakleys, but I couldn't afford them. And I remember where [laughter] I was at his house and he was showing me his Oakleys and I'm like, "Damn, those are ████ sick." So, I stole them. And then I took them over to my house. [laughter] And then [clears throat] uh maybe a couple weeks later and I I
7:34 purposely like altered them a little bit, like maybe took a knife and cut like the inside, like a little part that doesn't matter, just so I could make it unique, you know? And then he came over and I'm like, "Hey, did I ever show you my Oakleys? They look just like yours." And then he was like, "What?" I'm I'm mine are missing. I'm like, "What? No way!" So, I showed him the He's like, "Dude, those are mine." I'm like, "No, dude, they're not." I'm like, "Did yours have this mark?" Cuz I don't think it had a mark like that. I'm like, "Yeah, they're mine." He was like, "No, these are ████ mine, dude. My dad bought these for me." I'm like, "No, my dad bought these for me!" >> Dude! >> Oh. >> You're evil. Dude, that's just so wrong. >> ████ wrong. >> King gaslight. >> Alex, I'm so sorry. >> Bro, I don't even gaslight like that. >> Just stopped Anthony Lee. >> But I think from that moment, from seeing his face, >> I never again.
8:24 >> like, "I'll never steal from my friends again." >> [laughter] >> YOU'RE LIKE, "BUT DAMN, I LOOK GOOD IN THESE OAKLEYS." >> [laughter] >> Could have pulled the one of those like go to his house and go, "Hey, I found them. Look." >> I found them, and it has the same mark mine does. >> [laughter] >> Hey, but to be fair, Oakleys back then were very desirable. >> ████ yeah. >> Yeah. >> And then my other neighbor across the street was ████ showing off all the time. He had like three pairs of Oakleys. So, I just wanted one pair. >> You didn't just buy the fake Oakleys? You know, the the freaking ones at the swap meet? >> I can't even get out let out of that ████ Chinese house. >> [laughter] >> Chinese house? >> I don't even I can't even go to places people were going. So, the only places I could go was my friend's house. So, I got to steal from them. >> Man, I don't think I them That megatops anything I might have done.
9:14 >> That's such a next level gaslight. Cuz like, dude [clears throat] >> Dude, marking it to be like, "Yo, this is ████ mine." >> Face-to-face with the product in hand and denying the guy like multiple times where he's like, "These are mine." [laughter] >> You know what's a a funny thing, too? This is a very small thing I did, but it caused like lasting damage to one of my friends. Cuz it was a in fourth grade. So, this guy's my friend now. >> Lasting damage in fourth grade is crazy. >> Because he has like a he had like a tailbone issue because of this. >> Oh, ████ >> This is my friend who's at my wedding, ████ one of my closest friends. This guy um in fourth grade was like really fat. He's like not fat now, but he was like the heaviest guy in fourth grade. Make fun of him all the time. >> [laughter] >> You're like the heaviest guy in fourth grade. >> One time I told him that like I told him it looked cool when he GOES LIKE THIS.
10:05 >> [laughter] >> YOU'RE A DICK. DUDE, YOU'RE A DICK. >> THAT'S worse than Bart. >> This doesn't make sense. >> That's worse than Bart. >> We're just sitting with the ████ here. >> This doesn't make sense. >> You're so ████ cool. >> Hey, do it again. Do it again. Do it again. >> [laughter] >> Sounds ████ but like I accepted in his brain that it looked cool when he goes like this cuz I thought it looked stupid. So, I wanted him to keep doing it. So, I would be like, "Oh, do your peace dance. Do your peace dance." And he would just go "Eee." [laughter] AND LIKE HE WAS FAT, SO WE WOULD ALL LAUGH, but I told him it looked cool. And then one day one day in class like I told him to stand up and do it. I'm like, "Dude, stand up and do your peace dance. It'd be so funny." And so, he stood up and he started doing it, and then I pulled his chair out with from the when he sat back down. And he just like crashed onto his tailbone mega hard. And then like
10:58 after that he was like, "I think I'm really hurt. Like I think it still [clears throat] hurts after like months later." And then like a year later he's like, "It still hurts." And then like we're growing up. We're in high school now. He's like, "Yeah, my tailbone still hurts." >> Dude, he probably broke that ████ Oh my god. >> And I felt so bad because I'm over it by the time we're like ████ it. Like I've known this guy since fourth grade, and we're like seniors in high school, and I'm going, "Dude, does it still hurt?" [laughter] He's like, "Yeah." >> Did you never get it checked out? >> It eventually got better. But I mean, he had bigger problems after that. This guy had survived brain cancer two times. He probably forgot about how his tailbone feels. >> Does he still do this? >> No. No, he doesn't, but >> Should the man do that at your wedding? >> You see why I'm skeptical of you, dude? Anytime he compliments me, I'm like, "Bro, you're setting me up for something, dog." >> [laughter] >> I'm not buying it.
11:48 >> But it's such a funny thing to be like, "Oh, dude, it looks it rocks when you do this, dude." [laughter] >> Bro, Linda says she loves when you do this. >> [laughter] >> Such a stupid random thing. >> And his buddy's like, "Yeah, I guess that's my thing." >> [laughter] >> And I would get everybody to cheer so that he gets ████ pumped up. >> Dude. >> [laughter] >> You're a piece of ████ Ryan. >> In a class, I didn't tell him to stand up, do it, and then pull his chair out. >> Bro, that is so directly evil. >> And he was very heavy guy. He was a very heavy guy. >> Yeah, you said he's the biggest one in fourth grade. >> He said he was the heaviest one in fourth grade. >> He was the fattest guy in the whole school. And so, like, of course it's going to be like a thud of the year. >> That's evil. That's more That's more evil than Ryan thinks. >> This guy, like, literally, like, one of my closest friends, ████ it, to this day, he's like, "Hey, you know you ruined my life for good like 3 years." Yeah. >> I could have sat on an inner tube for a while.
12:38 >> [laughter] >> Cuz I've injured my tailbone, and that ████ hurts. >> you got to sit on a little thing. >> Yeah, you got to sit on a little hemorrhoid. Who's more evil? >> I think his story, that guy paid a higher price, but they're still friends. >> [laughter] >> This guy just jacked his little glasses. >> Material things. >> [laughter] >> They're not friends anymore. >> I I hold psychological trauma higher because Ryan plays the long game. So, he was like, bro, like, he's been setting this mark up. He's doing Pavlov type of ████ you know what I mean? He's like, "Hey, dude, everyone loves when you do like [laughter] that. Like, you making you do this is actually so funny to me. I think that's one of the funniest harmless bits." [laughter] But then, the level of what you took it to, that's what makes it go. >> All right, dude. >> And then, the level of which he had to suffer for years. >> like Lindsey Clancy, dude. This is premeditated.
13:29 >> [laughter] >> This is a premeditated crime, brother. >> Dude, you guys are ████ >> He was the guy at my wedding. He's like really tall, bald, like white guy. That's the dude. >> Oh, yeah. >> Yeah, that guy, Will, yeah. >> With the little limp. He couldn't walk with his tailbone. >> Yeah, he [laughter] couldn't sit down. He had to sit like this. Dude, yeah. That's my dude, man. >> He has scars on his brain. >> Yeah, that's my boy, dude. I put him through a lot of ████ I More than that, too. I started a club perfect like precisely just to leave him out. Like I started a club of like uh It was like you the the >> Precisely to leave him out. >> It was a pizza club where like I gave you pizza. That's the club. If you were in this club, I just gave you pizza. And he wasn't in it. He'd be like, "Can I get pizza?" I'm like, "Oh, you're not in the club." >> [laughter] >> Check your invite. >> Damn. >> He's like, "How do I join the club?" And I'm like, "Oh, you have to own a comic
14:20 book of this exact type." And he's like, "Where do I get that?" I'm like, "I don't know, dude. You got to have one." >> They're really expensive, dude. [laughter] >> None of them had it. I only I had it. I was just like, "You got to get one of these." He's like, "Everyone's got it at home." And he's like, "What? Really?" Like I would get pizza and just give it to people. Here you go. Here you go. Here you go. >> [laughter] >> That's so ████ up. >> Just to ████ with him. So messed up, dude. >> Why is he still your friend? >> Because that's my ████ personality and it sucks. >> You're like, "Hey, if you'll be my friend for 10 more years, I'll give you some pizza." >> As kids, we were totally different. Then we grew up we like he was my in my class every year till I grad- He would we went to community college together even. >> Wow. >> And he's a ████ doctor now. He's a ████ rich ass like owns multiple houses in Huntington Beach. This guy's like couldn't be doing better. Yeah. >> Well, you could have a better tailbone.
15:10 >> No, that thing was destined to be ████ up. I would have got him somehow, someway. >> When you're a millionaire, you don't need a tailbone. >> Yeah, yeah, ████ that, dude. >> He's the guy that I would like I would I would coax him to do ████ Like I'd be like, "Hey, you should fart right now." And he would just fart and get in trouble. He got sent to the corner of the room cuz he farted too much. And then I was like from the across room like one more time. And he went and then the teacher's like go TO THE PRINCIPAL'S OFFICE. AND HE WAS LIKE >> [laughter] >> AND HE CRIED ON THE WAY to principal's office. >> [laughter] >> I think you can do 10 more videos on this guy. >> We coaxed him to shoot to shoot a Sunny Delight bottle into the ████ the basketball room knowing that he wasn't going to make it. We're like dude, you'll make it, bro. Shoot it. And he ████ throws the Sunny D and it hit the substitute teacher and got all over
16:00 her. Bro, he's that guy, dude. >> They just ████ bullied this guy. >> But then they got me they got me a lot, too. These guys got me back a ton, too, but I always came back harder and got them in trouble somehow. But that's my boy, dude. Yeah, I was like one last time. Come on. One more time. Farted so loud, dude. >> Him crying and going to the principal's office. >> Yeah, he was [laughter] crying right after farting. So we thought it was so funny. Dude, I ████ love that guy. He's a doctor. >> You're evil, dude.
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